It was a day in March 2016 and I was part of a 4 Day intensive workshop on Mount Shasta, a mountain that is called the root chakra of the earth for her very strong and special energy.
It was on the third day during lunch break when I decided to join in a meditation with Elenora, a russian-american woman with warm loving eyes. I felt very connected to her and after 2,5 days of constant emotional release, I was thankful that we would share some time in meditation.
We sat down and started meditating, holding hands as a sign of our connection. After a while she broke the silence. „Simone“, she said, „ I can’t feel you. You are completely shut off.“ I felt some grumping inside of me. Hadn’t I worked on opening up for the last two years now? How could she dare… But I looked into her face and all I saw was real loving kindness. My anger vanished. Maybe I could learn something here.
„What do you mean?“ I asked. „Normally I am pretty good in perceiving people’s energies. They are clear to me. But yours are, well, they aren’t there. I can’t perceive you.“ She made a pause.“ May I suggest something?“
„Go out and find a tree. Connect to the tree and ask what had been here before. And see what happens.“ What a strange suggestion I thought. Nevertheless I went outside and decided to look for a tree that would somehow speak to me.
I found one, some meters into the forest, behind a tiny hill. People later told me that this hill was known as the Fairy Hill but I didn’t know that at the moment. I just followed where I felt drawn to. When I asked permission to connect with his energy, I felt a strong Yes immediately flowing in. I laid my hands on it, closed my eyes and asked the question Irina had given me.
At first I saw the whole area covered by trees. That wasn’t such a surprise, the mountain is surrounded by forests. After a while the image shifted and now I saw water, endless fields of water. Suddenly I felt an urge to open my mouth, as if a force was pushing from somewhere deep inside of me. So I did – and started SINGING.
Beautiful tones came out of my mouth, they were very harmonic and somehow spheric.
They reminded me of something really old, somehow new and familiar at the same time.
It Isn't Easy To Follow The Call
The thing is – I had never been a singing person before. I had been convinced that singing and me were completely different worlds and I wasn’t the only one holding that opinion. And here I stood, in this foreign country, with my hands on the tree, singing sounds in full volume. Not hesitantly, not quietly, in full capacity of my voice. And it felt beautiful. I was astonished, to say the least.
After a while it felt like whatever wanted to be sung had finished now and I stopped. I could hardly believe what was happening here. I was so amazed by this experience when I heard a clear voice inside of me. „This is why you are here, Simone.“
„Here on Mount Shasta?“ I goofily asked back.
„No. Here on Earth.“
In an instant, my beauty inspired mood broke into pieces. My heart started beating wild and fast. I started sweating on my whole body. I should sing? For other people? No way!
Strange enough, at the same time there was another voice present, one that shouted „YES! YES! YES! This IS what I want to do!“ inside of me. Although I was obviously freaking out right now, I instantly KNEW that this was true. I was here to sing.
So I run back into the house and found Elenora in the seminar room. I told her shortly what had happened to me at the tree. She smiled knowingly and started explaining.
„Sorry, no explanations.“, I interrupted her. „ I am really freaking out right now. I need your help. I really want to do this singing and I am so, so terrified. Please, just hold the space for me. Let me sing for you, right here and now!“ She smiled again and nodded.
So we sat down in the middle of the room, faces towards each other. Elenora grabbed my hands. She needed to actually pushed them on her knees, as they were were shaking so heavily. I forced myself to focus on her face, ignoring all the people in the room.
After some deep breaths I opened my mouth. Again, this beautiful spheric tones left my body, loud and clear. I realized how this singing flooded me with calmness, a deep peace rooted in a even deeper joy. I stopped when I felt that the panic had finally left my body. For a moment, we just sat in silence, both deeply touched by the experience.
We didn’t had any time to talk, the break was over, but I didn’t want to talk anyway. I needed time to let it sink in. I felt that this was something that would turn my life upside down again. I was right at this point.
I spent the rest of the afternoon sitting between Elenora at my left and a wonderfully kind man at my right, just diving in this feelings of awe and wonder that were still flooding through my body.
I could hardly believe what I had done.
Courage on the Mountain
In the evening some of us decided to drive up the mountain to experience Mount Shasta in her snowy beauty. We arrived at a beautiful plateau from where we could clearly see the top of the mountain. Everything was hidden under a thick layer of snow and ice, the air was clear and fresh and thousands of stars were sparkling above us.
It happened that finally again the three of us were standing on this plateau: Eleonora to my left and David, the kind man from the afternoon, to the right. I was so blown away by the magic of situation that I deeply wanted to express it. Again I felt the urge to sing.
Immediately the fearful thoughts came up. Wouldn’t I destroy this beautiful situation? As if I could! Wouldn’t they be offended? Or even worse: What if they started laughing? Mocking me? Who was I to contribute to this beautiful surrounding anyway?
But the desire to do so, to open my mouth and let the sounds evolve themselves, was stronger than my doubts. With Irina to my left and Don to my right I started singing. And again sounds were effortlessly flowing out of my body. Pure, etherial sounds, full of harmony, joy and love that evoked in me the deep feeling of being one with the beauty of this place and the largeness of the universe.
Nobody laughed. Nobody mocked. And I knew. This is what I wanted to do.
I spent the next 1.5 years exploring my newly discovered gift on the one side and working on my nagging doubts on the other. There was this intuitive inside of me who wanted to sing and there was the doubter who didn’t. I wanted the intuitive to win.
Other challenges kept showing up. I had no idea what I was actually doing. I quickly learned that my singing raised people’s frequencies, but what that meant for them was something I only had a glimpse of an idea about. I needed to find people who were willing to work with me without a cristall clear explanation. And I needed to convince myself that it was ok to do something that I mentally didn’t understand. The second part was more difficult.
Singing was incredibly exhausting at the beginning. When I sang for one person I needed to recover for two days, sometimes feeling like not even being able to move. I learned to protect and clear myself so I could recover quicker. I learned how to read the signs before the singing so I knew what could become an exhaustive experience and what not. I learned who I wanted to sing for and who not, based on these experiences. I learned to prepare accordingly and to fully care for myself, before, during and after a session. I learned to talk about it, without the need to explain what I couldn’t explain anyway. And so much more.
I actually learned to use singing to expand myself and others.The more I cleared myself, the more powerful the singing became.
We grow together, my singing and me.
Transformation by Singing
Some days ago. I am on the phone with a client with whom I have felt a wonderfully strong connection right from the beginning. Even during my introduction I can feel the urge to sing. What sings through me obviously doesn’t want to wait. So I keep the introduction short and let it flow.
My singing has developed itself during these 1.5 years. I sing all different kind of tones and – as I know now – spirit languages. Some are smooth and sound, some are deep and rough. Sometimes they are more than strange and I need to push myself a bit to let them out. I do it anyway, because I know: It this is what is coming up – that’s exactly what my client needs to hear.
I can feel the power in them while I sing. I can feel how they evolve inside of me. Sometimes a message is connected with them, which I share with my client during the break. Sometimes the tones are the message. Recently I have discovered that together with the singing movements come up too. And I have started using rattles. Something new to explore.
One hour later my client has found and finally released his biggest emotional obstacle from this life. I feel strong, joyful, delighted even. I can feel his power flowing back into him and I am so happy that I can contribute to that. I am so grateful that he trusted me so much. I can feel how much people trust me in the power of the singing.
I know he will be fine.
I will take a short rest and go for a walk afterwards. What a great day.
Yes, this is what I want to do.